Content

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on this topic, the feeling of “being content”. Is this really just a feeling? If you answered yes in your head, should it be?

A few weeks ago, I was at my Tuesday night Bible study and we were studying Acts 26. In this chapter Paul is discussing with some Jewish leaders about Jesus and asks them this question in verse 8: “Why is it thought incredible by any of you that God raises the dead?” After we read the chapter and it was time for discussion, it was evident that this question had stuck out to many of us and we were feeling significantly convicted about doubting the wondrous power of God. As we were unpacking this idea, this conviction, and doubts we may have had or are having, one of my friends brought up that in her life she has been struggling a lot and questions God — asking Him why He hasn’t given her what she has been asking and praying for earnestly. But then she said something that completely changed my way of thinking: “Maybe I’ve been thinking about it all wrong, though. What if God is already doing something right here, right now, and I’m completely missing it because it’s not exactly what I want Him to be doing? What if I’m missing something incredible right in front of me because it’s not my plan for my life?”

I began to feel this softening in my heart. What if that’s true for me?

For the past year now I’ve been pleading with God for community. Ever since I came home from college, I have felt lonely, and then when my brother moved out and got married, I felt especially alone. I have felt like I’ve been pleading with God for friends who I can walk through life with, laugh with, call on the phone, share things with, have game nights with, and simply grow in our faiths together. And I continuously have felt like God has not been answering my prayers. Even though I have a bible study with strong Christian girls each and every week who are looking to grow in their faith and have fun together. Even though I go to a game night every Thursday after a young adults group with a group of friends who also wants to go to King’s Dominion and go apple picking on their free weekends.

So, what was I missing? I was missing what God was doing. I was missing how He has already answered my prayers. How He has provided me with a wonderful friend group to spend time with and grow in my faith with. To walk alongside of each other and build one another up. He has provided me with friends outside of this group to build up and to spend time with. Friends that maybe I have been neglecting or not spending time with. Siblings who want to see me and hang out with me, but who I haven’t made time for. God has already been doing this amazing thing in my life, has been answering my prayers in a such a big and incredible way, but I had been missing it all this time because maybe it wasn’t exactly what I expected. It wasn’t exactly the way I thought it should go.

I was discontent because I wasn’t content in the Lord, but instead was trying to find my satisfaction in what I thought my life should look like. What I thought I wanted my life to feel like.

After I heard this, I felt convicted to truly be content in the Lord and be grateful for what He has done and what He is doing in my life — around me and for me. Even though it is not easy to just ‘be content’, think of all of the things God has done for you. All of the blessings He has given you. The ways He has answered prayers, even if you’ve missed them. Even if you’ve been missing what He is doing for you. What He is doing in you.

And then, last weekend, I was listening to Lizzy McAlpine’s new album, “Angel”, to the song, “I have a friend,” as I was driving through the mountains to my engagement photo shoot with my best friend. My best friend that the Lord has graciously gifted to me. She sang this line: “I want the rest of my life to look like this forever,” and I thought, “Yes. I do want the rest of my life to look like this, forever. To have friends to call and to hang out with. To have parents who love me and who want to eat and play games together. To have siblings who want me to come over and who call me just to talk about their day. To have a dog who is so cute and joyful, she reminds you that life is not that serious. To have Jesus, in my heart and in my mind, strengthening me and giving me grace, day after day. I want the rest of my life to look like this, forever.” And then I thought: “This is what it means to be content in the Lord.” To be grateful for what you have and for what is happening in your life, in all moments, even the hard ones. Even in the valleys, the Lord is there, moving, working, and sitting with you.

Who am I to deny what the Lord can do? What He is already doing?