Independence
In•de•pen•dence (noun): the ability to live your life, make your own choices, and care for yourself without relying on others
Notice how, in this definition, it specifically says your three different times. Independence is about you, and what you want. It is about doing things on your own terms without needing anybody else. It is making your own choices without regard to how others may feel about them or how other people might be affected by these decisions.
It is complete autonomy. Able to be in control of your own life. What happens to you and what you do. Where you go. How you live.
But how could this even be possible when there is a God who is completely in control? Even over you. And your life. And your mind. And what happens to you.
Independence is something that has always appealed to me. Something that I have always longed for, from the depths of my being. I have always wanted to be able to make my own decisions, to grow up, to be an adult, and to have complete autonomy — to choose where I go, what I do, without anybody else giving their input, opinion, or influence. Sounds great, right? But (surprise!), I have been growing. Growing away from this imitation sunlight that is the concept of independence. Learning a new way of being.
The first thing I have learned is that I simply cannot do this life without God. His strength, His provision, His guidance. He created all of us to be in communion with Him during our DAILY walks, and we don’t function as efficiently or as effectively without Him. God’s presence is the greatest gift He has given us. The fact that He sent His Son to bridge the divide between us and Him, that our sin created, so that we can walk alongside of Him once again and experience His presence dwelling inside of us — THIS is our biggest blessing.
The second thing I have learned is that doing everything alone leads you to be, well, lonely. I’m not saying it’s not good to do things alone, but rather attempting to live your life entirely by yourself. In Genesis 2:18, God says, “It is not good for man to be alone.” This was when God created the woman to accompany the man. We were made to be in community.
Recently, I flew to Brazil for three weeks to study and observe classrooms for my master’s program. When I flew alone, I got sick on my first flight, and all I desired was to be with someone that could help me because I felt so weak from my sickness. But, because I was alone, I had to get my own tissues, fill up my own water over and over, and stay awake so I could watch my luggage. All I wanted was to not be alone, even though before my trip I really wanted to go on a study abroad trip by myself.
While I’ve been in Brazil I have been staying with a family from the school I am working at. On some of the car rides, the kids like to listen to Adventures in Odyssey, an old-school Christian podcast-type radio that I used to listen to when I was a kid. These episodes have a whole world inside of them with character development and progressing plot lines. One recent episode we listened to was about the body of the church. In 1 Corinthians 12:12, 14-20, it says, “For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,’ that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,’ that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.” In the episode, each of the characters represented a different “body part” and had a different skill they were good at. They each had different gifts. When one of the members of this group decided he did not want to keep only doing what he was good at, he left the group and the group quickly fell apart and ceased from functioning. The point of this episode was to teach that we are all significant, but we are of more value when we are in community with our fellow believers. When each individual person uses the gifts that God has given them to serve, love, and contribute to the Church, the Church functions at its best.
And lastly, I am almost at the point where I have lost another form of being independent — quite possibly one of the most significant on this planet — I am getting married. Truly, I love my fiancée, and creating a home and a life with him is quite appealing to me. However, getting married is a big decision, a big commitment, and something that is permanent. Permanently depending on another person to work with you to love God and seek His kingdom. You are no longer autonomous, you are dependent. You are one flesh with another human being. No longer able to make your own choices without considering another person, because that other person is your partner. Your teammate. Now, you make decisions together. Although the thoughts were scary at first, particularly in the aspect of losing part of my independence as a person, I have learned and grown to see how God has designed marriage to serve us. He created marriage for us, not us for marriage. If you are called to marriage, you are called to be a teammate and to work together with another person to serve the Lord and to serve each other. You are called to love others together and further the kingdom together. It is a gift, not a chore. It will help you, not hinder you.
“Man was not made to be alone.” This is key. We were not made to be independent from God and we were not made to be independent from others. We were made to walk this life with God and to live this life with those around us.
How are you isolating yourself from others? From God? If you were truly alone to make whatever decisions you wanted to, would that truly satisfy you? Would your life actually become the life that you want to live? Ponder these things. Reflect on where you are at in your walk with God and your walk with others. Seek the lost, think of someone you could reach out to, and love the person right in front of you.
